he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
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