I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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