like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Randomize
