I don't think brook has ever known best
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
