I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Randomize
