can we get nightvision for the apartment?
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
