took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
