Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
