i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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