home. puking in laundry basket.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
