I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Randomize
