just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
