No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
