I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
