Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I know her cup size but not her name....
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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