dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
So much rum. So many feels.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
