Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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