pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize
