he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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