can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
