I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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