i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Randomize
