Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
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