Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Randomize
