i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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