it wasn't lemon gatorade
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
