seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
