guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
