The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I need to sanitize my soul.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
