JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Randomize
