So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
