remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
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