He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
