Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
