So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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