you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
