Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
