Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Randomize
