I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
