you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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