i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
