He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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