There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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