We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Randomize
