before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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