I feel like I'm in dance class right now
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
