Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
