Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
