She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
