if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
