Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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