You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
