matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
