I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
